Ijazzat.......

Last night i was listening to the tracks of "ijazzat" (i jus love the songs of this movie ).....nd all of a sudden i recieved a call from one of my old friends and he said with a note of surprize if i m not wrong its ijazzats tracks being played in background rite ..... and then started the discussion about the tracks ,the theme n all .......

Ijazzat..... a beautiful, complex and layered film .......

On a rainy night, Mahen unexpectedly runs into his ex-wife Sudha at a railway station waiting room. Two people unwillingly thrown in each other’s company, compelled to revisit a part of their life they have chosen to forget. The relationship has changed, the rules have changed. And the past becomes an intangible third person in the room, much like Maya was in their life. But where is Maya now?

Using his trademark of weaving the past with the present, Gulzar takes us back and forth between the waiting room and their home in the past. (a home, that Mahen remarks, was much like a waiting room.) And the complexities start to unravel. Maya’s free-spiritedness, Sudha’s conflict between being supportive and being possessive, Mahen’s inability to get past his memories but still wanting to keep Sudha happy — the characters become relatable and their dilemmas become real. And as with most of life’s dilemmas, there are no simple answers, no easy solutions.

In a way, Ijaazat is a simple story about three people, two relationships and one night. But it derives its depth from its complex characterizations. Its strength lies in its screenplay and dialogues by Gulzar and its moody cinematography by Ashok Mehta. And in the strong performances of its three leads — Rekha, Naseeruddin Shah and Anuradha Patel.

And of course, in its music. Ijaazat is inarguably one of the finest of Pancham’s oeuvre. Four gorgeous solos, exquisitely crafted by RDB and lovingly sung by Asha with layered poetry by Gulzar that once again show the symbiotic relationship that the three shared. One realizes at such moments, that the whole sometimes is truly greater than the sum of its parts.

Chhotisii kahaanii se, baarishon ke paanii se, saarii vaadii bhar gayii .. sings Asha, as we follow a train’s journey through rain-drenched valleys and mist-covered mountains, while the titles roll. The music is so delightfully visual that one doesn’t need the lyrics to see the scene. The steady rhythm of the train, the sound of the rain slowing down to a drizzle, only to burst into a gleeful downpour once again, a waterfall that cascades grandly or a little brook that plays peek-a-boo .. the images are created by the music, but the on-screen visuals and the lyrics enhance the experience. Gulzar personifies the rain, making it dance lightly, using the clouds as stepping stones —

ruktii hai thhamtii hai, kabhii barastii hai
baadal pe paaon rakh ke, baarish machaltii hai ..

Pancham always claimed to not having an ear for poetry. Seeing the kind of magic he has created with Gulzar’s pen, one wonders if he was just being self-deprecatory. When Sudha sends back some of Maya’s belongings, Maya wants her memories back as well. A song whose lyrics Pancham jokingly described as akin to reading a newspaper. Asha’s voice languidly caresses every word, as she plaintively at times and retrospectively at other times, asks him to return the moments that they’ve shared. Meraa kuchh saamaan tumhaare paas padaa hai ..

meraa kuchh saamaan tumhaare paas padaa hai
saawan ke kuchh bheege bheege din rakhhe hain
aur mere ik khat mein liptii raat padii hai
vo raat bujhaa do
meraa vo saamaan lautaa do ..

ek sau solah chaand kii raatein, ek tumhaare kaandhe kaa til ..

What does that even mean? asked a friend. One hundred sixteen moonlit nights, and one sesame of onion, I replied. Wise friend has promised to never ask us to interpret Gulzar lyrics again. But perhaps it is a count of nights spent together? Or maybe a four month relationship? (One hundred sixteen moonlit nights would be one hundred twenty days minus the four amaavasyas?) White on black and black on white? Contrasts to indicate the gamut of emotions felt? With Gulzar, so many interpretations are possible. But whatever the intended meaning, the imagery is subtly sensual and so very beautiful.

Mahen and Sudha go on their honeymoon, to make a fresh start. Which sets the scene for the next song. Katraa katraa miltii hai, katraa katraa jeene do .. Pancham uses the twin track recording effect beautifully in this number, overlapping Asha’s highs and lows. The locales of Kudremukh form a gorgeous backdrop as Asha’s silken voice hit the high notes of pyaasii hoon main pyaasii rehne do. Her thirst for more is not a complaint. She knows she cannot have Mahen completely, but in her very longing for him, she tries to find happiness.

tumne to aakaash bichaayaa
mere nange pairon mein zameen hai
paake bhii tumhaarii aarzuu ho
shaayad aise zindagii haseen hai
aarzuu mein behne do
pyaasii hoon main pyaasii rehne do ..


But Sudha’s longing remains unfulfilled. Mahen is unable to remove Maya from his life and Sudha is tired of being patient. In these moments of despair, comes the fourth and final song of the movie, a ghazal. Khaalii haath shaam aayii hai, khaalii haath jayegii, aaj bhi na aaya koii, khaalii laut jayegii .. The pain in Asha’s voice is palpable as Sudha sits waiting in the darkness, watching the light come in through the slightly ajar door, a constant reminder that Mahen is not back ..

aaj bhii na aaye aansuu, aaj bhii na bhiige nainaa
aaj bhii ye korii rainaa, korii laut jaayegii ..

Memories are heavy baggage and burying them is the healthy thing to do. But will denying the existence of memories make them go away? Or is it better to embrace them? As Sudha remarks to Mahen, looking at the rain that refuses to stop — baras jaayegii to apne aap thham jayegii. Perhaps memories too are like that. They flood you for a while, but with time, they cease. Then again, memories get their well-deserved burial only at the end of one’s life. As Maya requests Mahen at the end of her letter —

ek ijaazat de do bas, jab isko dafnaauungi
main bhii vahii so jauungii .. main bhii vahii so jauungii ..

Cascade of dreamz.........

When the dream becomes reality? When the surreal meets the real?
This time before time. Where memories flash by, picture by picture. The puzzle comes together to form now. And now is when we go back. In a flash. We are back in time. Frozen once again. But in a different time. A different universe. Spin with me in my eddying emotion. Cruise with me through my youthful fantasy. Flow with me in my surging spontaneity. Swim with me in my divine euphony. Float with me in my phantasmal heaven. Whirl with me in my fragile bubble. Fly with me as I escape
reality..............



I had this dream a couple of nights back ....to b precise b4 os online......
When I walked into this dream for the first time, it didn’t seem like a dream. Everything seemed the way it was supposed to be. Nothing was out of place.....
The clouds, like an outstretched hand, cupping the sky. The light trickling through its fingers. The light of the day above its hand, the light of the night below. Slowly disappearing darkness. It is an indeterminate time of day. Could be morning or evening , it is not clear....Icy winds, tell the coming of the rain. The way the light fell, you could tell it was manipulated. Soft, Glowing, Highlighting. Shining, but not bright enough to make you look away. It drew me in. Softly but surely.......
I`m walking on the sea shores... deeply engrossed in a conversation or rather some kind of arguement about life, success etc etc (me n my dreams lolz ) . Out of the blue I see a wave rising from the sea. . It is just something a bit out of the ordinary, more like a monsoon expression. Except it hardly makes a difference I realise, what you call it. The wave keeps rising and rising - in slow motion - and the name you give it doesn`t matter because all of a sudden I know it is going to crash down on us soon! ( water.....used to be my greatest fear, my reason for not learnin to swim but probably after goa where i decided to kill my fear ..its the lizards which top the list these days )


Strangely I dont feel frightened . Just somewhat reluctant to undergo the possible pain of death by water and read the same in his eyes ....... I just keep still. I wait and so does my friend. Any moment it is going to happen. Still nothing, and I am where I was - waiting. The seconds seem like hours. At some point it is clear to me that the wave has passed and for some strange reason we have not been affected. We are still alive.

Looking at it the next morning I had this sensation that that is what it was. Essence is the thing that remains when all around is being buffetted and everything is undergoing change. Essence is the unchanging part of me whose expression in the world is changing.

And on that wise note I have to retire for my dinner .... my fav aloo ki sabji apparently waiting on the mess table :)

Good Morning !!!!!

Where did stars go when sun rose ?
Where did dreams go we woke up ??
and myriad no. of such questions ,reminds me of era when i used to wake up and had such questions in my mind ....well questions were then out of question n now i wake up with the questions in my mind like
what next for the day ?
where is life leading ??
Am I on right track ???
Are my journeys taking me ahead in right direction ????

In this journey of achieving I still don't know what! We lose our pureness, our plainness.i tried hard but couldn't help becomin manipulative,artificial…pretentious, insecure and what not.Education, understanding and knowledge are the antonyms of innocence and we all thrive for these. but I am sure at some point of time everybody does miss being innocent ..I miss it so much.
the more knowledge we have the less naive we are, the more answers we get the more curious we become!and in this quest of knowledge and understanding we tend to lose what is called 'innocence'.
but do we really have to lose it? even after knowing things can't we be innocent?
I guess - 'No' - this cruel world doesn't allow this.
You have to apply knowledge to function properly else you will end up nowhere

51 facts !!!!!!

Here she' is having her status message saying "drained "...... n i know she really is ...... here i was thinking about this girl ...Never thought she’d last this long…but but but… it is her 50th post!!! Not a big achievement or anything…but still…she thinks its quite the cool.

So as a celebration and given her need for self-indulgence, here are ikyaavan (51) facts about Neha!!!

Main dairy milk chocolate par haath rakh kar kasam khaata hoon, main jo kahoonga sach kahoonga…

1. Name: Neha or nesh :P

2. Birthday:February 23

3. Zodiac:Pisces

4. Sex: Female

5. Blood group : O+

6. Single: As in married or in a relationship?

7. Hometown: Jaipur, India.

8. Currently resides in: Pilani

9. Occupation: When not procrastinating, she deals with the cdc's(compulsary disciplinary courses) of gadget of the generation the computer ...
10. For her, family comes first and she would do anything for them. Irrespective of consequences.

11: School life is fondly remembered for being a topper, playing pranks and talking 19 to the dozens :D. She was really cool at Maths and as usual was the cutie cue . Those were the days….

12: She can read and read for hours…days even. She reads everything from text books (majority of times :P) to philosophy to best sellers, and her favorite book is I guess “The little Prince” and also" The Alchemist "

13: She is allergic to smoking and thus classifies smoking as her turn off

14: Movies for her, are more than a way to pass time. Actually, she wants a career out of critiquing films! Her favorite film since late is “Life is b'ful”.
A pretty hopeless romantic at times , she bawls her heart out while watching bollywood romantic flicks and feels rather silly about it.

15: Neha is kind of fond of music. She has some favourites like Linkin park, U2, Indian Ocean, Strings etc. She is also very fond of soft hindi tracks .

16: While we are at the subject of music, it wouldn’t hurt to mention that she is not very good with lyrics.

17: Also, she has never lost a game of Antakshari, among friends .....Up to it anyone?

18: Her singing belongs to the bathroom but nevertheless, she has a go at it with full enthusiasm anytime, anywhere.

19: She is technologically challenged. She is rather proud of herself for having switched to LINUX finally, but she is still rather suspicious of it…The thought of doing anything new with her system gives her cold feet. She just doesn’t know how.

20: She is a very friendly person and can talk your ear off! And yet, she’s a good listener, they say.

21. She needs her bit of “me” time (who doesn’t?)

22: Neha doesn’t think in black and white. Everything is grey…and it is alright.

23: She believes in miracles. Really.

24:Loves surprises (so me planned of giving her this surprise :) )

26: Coincidences usually brings her a smile .

27:Knows how to bring u a smile too :).

28: She likes sarcasm. Especially when she is the one doling it out to unsuspecting recipients.

29: She once found two awesome soundtracks of the Enigma, and can play them over and over. It still gives her goose bumps.

30: Her favourite season is rains which being in Rajasthan she doesnt njoy much ,however she hates summers and likes winters. Winters give her an opportunity to curl up in bed with a good book, and its one of her ways of switching off.

31: She hates some green vegetables ,loves italian ...and when it comes to dessert gaajar ka halwa n shrikhand being her favourites ..

32: Some of the best time of her life has been spent in Jaipur , where she studied

33: She hates being rude and has a rather high tolerance level for irritating elements. But when she loses it, she loses it in style.

34: She values loyalty the most, and is a very loyal friend, if not an ideal one. When pals are at fault, she stands up for them in public, and thrashes them in private.

35: Her favourite video game is Tetris and she likes to think of herself as a champion of sorts. Her latest obsession is Sudoku, and she is rather good at it ( or so she believes)

36: She loves simple small things the most .

37: She is okay with window shopping, and sometimes has no interest in new clothes. She hates make up and high heels. She, however, likes bags, shoes and perfumes.

38: She is crazy about kids :D and is herself a kid ,pure at heart ,one gal who never hides anything .

39: She is rather fond of travelling and wants to see the world! One of her plans in life include backpacking across Europe.

40: She seldom gets angry, and her anger is like a short storm, that rages and thunders, and then is absolutely quiet.

41: Strange as it is, she survives the bigger blows in life quite easily, it’s the small ones that finish her off…

42: Neha is a happy-go-lucky person , much to the amazement of her friends and foes alike.

43: Even though she has a fairly long list of friends, she is a private person and only few have any idea of her deepest thoughts and feelings. She ends up being a better friend to others.

44: She abhors, and much as she hates to admit, is also scared of lizards and as luck would have it, has had her share of them dropping on/close to her.

45: She is in deep love with Dairy milk .... and the color" blue "

46: Coming to her Mr Perfect .......a guy whoz resourceful,
Acts grown up when she acts childish,assumes control of a problem situation.
doesn’t compare her with other women, realizing that shez she, different in her own ways .he knows when to be serious,can handle her sharp mood swings :P...Loves his family.Respects women ,elders .... Is confident n creative....Fun-loving , who knows how to enjoy life then he knows the art called appreciation,.... Is" well read"Last but not the least ,has good conversational skills .....doesnt she have a too small list of things she luks fwd to :P
forgot 1 thing likes guys in formal wear :P

47: Ok now ppl who turn off are found to have characterstics
Is childish all the time....... Whines and complains...... Always looks up at her for support, without trying to be strong for hims.............Has no ambition
Has little self respect......Is a spendthrift.....Pretends to be " someone " he is "not"... Is overly critical of people in general.......Talks as if hez some 80 years old basically a killjoy

48: She believes in, stands for Human rights, especially Women’s Rights and Feminism.

49: Being a true Piscean, she believes and stands by equality and fairness. . Also she is blessed with other Piscean traits like laziness, hyperactivity at times, indecisiveness, gift of the gab, so on and so forth.

50: Her obsession with Hritik was beyond reason and no matter what anyone says, he was, is and will always be special. When she was in school, she collected picture postcards of him which amounted to some100 and 78. Also, she cries every time she watches him dying on screen. Still.

51: She is a “small town girl” at heart :) though being from JEYPORE as she calls it at times

Always be the way you are !Hope she accepts my comment

Ankur

Tip tip barsaa paani :D

The clouds gather in the corner of the blue sky making it dark and as if to say something which they wanted to say something forever. You expect something to happen , may be you expect the storm to blow.... May be , there is a time for everything in the order of things. When you chance upon the sudden realization , something comes to your mind , that enigma track called “return to innocence”, don’t know why but it comes to your mind.
Well, when you were thinking so much of chained thoughts , it begins to rain:DD Rains in pilani yes! yes! yes! ....The clock refuses to accept the weather. It looks as if it is evening , the clock argues with it by proclaiming it is nowhere near the onset of evening , it loudly says time is stuck in point near the afternoon. May be this is how the perplexing thoughts hit you . Well , as it rains outside , I look on and the wind tries to force a battle with the paper (ot assignment )in which I am writing.The raindrops carry on taking their flight from the clouds to the ground. The leaves take a few drops to look greener and greener . The passion of the green leaves is so simple.

Enough now ,i lost the battle of my paper being swayed by wind (luvd losing this one ) n yippie me out in rains with frns ....once again back to innocence the splashing of water ,the paper boats,the rain dance ,those singing aloud ,that running n shiverin ...getting drenched to my soul aah lovely ....... i luv rains i luv rains i luv rains ..

n here is someone playin the song i walk a lonely road n this brings to my mind some of the memories of the not so long ago days ...Jeans rolled up, balancing the bag and the umbrella…...Goa yes ....lolzz those were the days !!!
walking a bit more backward reminds me that there are just too many things I associate with the rains..... have already mentioned abt them in 1 of my posts but neva mind here i go again ......
That smell of the earth after the first rains of the season

The small paper boats we used to float in puddles…

Long walk with friends on the wet roads at night…

Coffeeeeeeeeeeeee :) :)

Splashing water on each other

Catching a cold....wet hair

A big fight with a loved one...

Some songs....

Profound wisdom......


Huddling under an umbrella with a want to get wet wet wet n finally throwin it away...
(god i still remember the watchman's reaction n lecture when i got wet wet wet in goa lolzzzz)

Colourful raincoats and cute children carrying bags beneath them........

kissing the raindrop...

Its just so amazing ..... remembering the tit -bits that rains leave me wid .....
But time moves on , nostalgia is always like this , tickles your heart so that you refuse to budge. Stints in life teach you the best days are days which are very simple in nature. Cliché’s are easy to find I guess but to be simple is a bit difficult.

The skies along with me await the onset of the festivities. The bful skies which I look forward to and the glowing nights. May be the time comes when every year you meet a new hope and new urge to live on. Eagerness in my heart leads to the chain of thoughts that move on into the life. The chain of my thoughts in very clear , I don’t want to look at a blank paper, it looks much better when it is filled up so me finishing my assignment :D
There’s something to look forward to , here goes the wind again.....
Love u weather for bringin me a big smile :)
neha

Why do we ......

Indian ethnicity, especially Hinduism, is very profound and deep-rooted. It is admired and respected all over the world. Our culture is full of small and sweet traditions, which are quite simple but which carry a divine message in them. Most of the rites and sacraments have some or the other strong wisdom at its foundation. These rituals can be explained in simple terms, but at the same time, if they are followed blindly, without the understanding of the factual basis, they could lead to doubts and blind faith, which casts a shadow on the tradition.

One of the most remarkable characteristic of our great heritage is the paradigm of re-enacting itself according to the reformation of the society. Hundreds of examples exist as a proof, and also is the eradication of many of the discriminating ceremonies like 'satipratha' and 'untouchablitiy' give strong evidence of its unbounded methodology. Without disturbing the foundations of our ethos, Hinduism has always shown broad-mindedness and tolerance towards the progressive adaptations of the new eras and generic transitions. Maybe for this reason itself, the Indian heritage is reputed to be the most mature of the world.

In most of our households, we see traditions being followed, like the lighting of the "Diya", Putting "bindi" on the forehead, "fasting "etc. For several generations, we follow these customs, mostly coz our elders turned them into a legacy, but deep within them, they hold the very foundation of our society and the norms that have helped the society to sustain itself.

For many of my growing up years I have watched my parents following small rituals in our everyday lives and many a times have there been questions arising in my mind, and after a long time searching for answers I have come across some of them. These answers have opened up my eyes to the intricate structure that is the base of our very existence.
Happy Janmashtmi :)

finally finally .........

When organizing my never-ending to-do list, I prioritize and also consider how much time each task will take to complete.Saying "no" is the hardest part for me, especially when it is something that will only take an hour or so, BUT those hours quickly multiply when you have soooooo many people asking.
The time factor is a major problem which many of us forget to compute into the equation. That's how we end up saying we will do 38 hours worth of work in 24 hours and don't even think about eating and sleeping in the allotted time.....
hope numal and optimization helps me frame n solve my equations correctly ....
wow i FINALLY traced the utility of reading subjects like numal n ot ,( i have been searching for this answer since the beginning of my sem ):D :D
so wit this note me goin to go for analysis yes numerical analysis :)