bye bye bye !

As I lay down on my cot for the last time, thoughts of missing this place went through my head, missing the people and the funk life we had made in a kind of unknown environment:P
Good bye's can be difficult and heart wrenching. Sometimes they are even enlightening, a NEW beginning ( learnt a few hrs ago abt this fund from amongst the one i had to bid bye ); letting go of the old to welcome the new. It is the most difficult aspect of moving on. And i knew it will be too difficult for me to say goodbye goa and , so here i am ,writing to say goodbye to goa and my frnds too (will b meeting them in 10 ays but still ):|
yesterday as I looked around the circle we were sitting (certificate recieving ceremony in my workplace ) into the eyes of each one of them ( all my ps mates together for the last -last time ), I recalled special and unique things about each one, so I might burn in my memory their image. I knew we would meet again under different circumstances, for many of them are destined to ........
getting early in the morning and again seeing two of my friends departing , one with whom i used to share every happening of my PS starting from the morning walk to the evening walk ,
The other one always added so much fun to all the lacha sessions we had , the trips we all enjoyed those gen dinners at ginza (donno when it became our group's fav joint ), the beaches , the bus journeys , those night walks on highway ,the lacha sessions , and of course of all, all our weekend trips naa naa PLANNED weekend trips .....
I missed saying goodbye to a few probably (the beaches , the lush greenery , the highway,gsl ,the goa campus and some ppl too i guess :P)..was difficult for me and i decided not to .........

Was just thinking that "Why do we find that people leave our lives for seemingly no reason at all? "As we follow our self-enquiry, as we look inside and learn about ourselves we begin to vibrate at a different density. It is our initial vibration that attracted people into our lives in the first place. It is like we cannot touch those who do not move in the same direction as us. The emotions you have are a positive reflection of the relationships you have developed with the people you've managed. I realize it won’t be the same once you are gone, but unless you are moving far away, you will be able to stay in touch with some, if you chose to do so. Others will simply slip away and the best thing we can do is to let them. For when one person slips off our screen another can enter and we can draw towards us new people who do resonate with us and who do bring a new energy into our lives. It is these people that we now attract and it is these that we can now not only receive from but give to. With them we will grow, open new doors and explore new heights.
I would say bye-bye to all those to whom I didn't and say keep in touch that's it ...
rest is destiny ........

A trip to paradise !!!!

"Images are the killers of the reality" I can't recall this or this type of words where I read but if you are visiting Dudhsaagar falls in Goa with some of the images I assure you that you are going to find the vice versa situation , here reality is all prepared to kill your images. Seen a few pics of dudhsaagar ones found them quite alluring but never did i expected to land up on paradise .....yups if thr is a real paradise itz nowhere but here n here n here n here .................

Waterfalls , especially at this time of year is certain to charm and enthrall . . but if not careful, if not prepared, if acting with undue hubris, a visit to the dudhsaagar can also end up debilitating,.... the force of the aeration in the plunge pool is plenty to suck a person under. Please be mindful of your surroundings folks, and don't go swimming ..........this was all one of my goa frns told me about these falls


So with the pics and the words in my mind ,a deciding moment came and pics superceeded so we were all finally set for the adventure of chasing the clouds , playin wid the gusting wind and getting drenched in the sensuous waters of dudhsaasar .Got up at 5:15 am ,the first time so early in goa and took a train from vasco to castle rock to rock !!!!!.It was really spending some quality time with my friends in train - singing songs :D,cracking jokes etc etc.

After an hour or so begins the real fun,throughout your journey ,you will feel mesmerised by the adventurous and scenic beauty of heights and what should i call i guess valleys .......surrounded by thick forests and countless number of small- small streams running down the mountains.The trouble of broken sleep in the early morning was forgotten and I felt blissfully happy to enjoy the cloud play during this time along with the occasional hide and seeks game of mist .....
It served as a picturesque place by the railway tracks. Must say it's really like a paradise to nature lovers like me who love seeking solitude and enjoying the beauty of the nature. Next was the turn to witness the spellbounding dudhsaagra falls from the train ,the only means to get to these falls calling you aloud was to jump off the train (it was pretty slow too)but but -but we didnt and consoled our souls saying it would have been equally same , whether u stare at the falls for a few secs or few mins.But sometimes universe conspires to do things in your favour and we were fortunate enough to get another train from castle rock which used to stop at dudhsaagar .yippie !!!!!


We boarded this train and were all set for dudhsaagar our destination to paradise
We had to walk a few kms along the track ,cross some tunnels from the station to reach dudhsaagar. Besides the track were streams ,time to take a dip in the clear and cold waters :). You will also see water gushing down like a shower from openings in the tunnels, which serve as a refreshing shower if you are tired of the walk.I really was. Everything you see is wet, wet and wet. Its usually pouring day and night and you have to be either very well prepared or be ready to get completely wet. We had both: we were well prepared and yet we were ready to get completely wet and enjoy the rains, and of course we chose the second option.
Looking out at an opening, soaring features frame the backdrop with prominent peaks . You wonder, where am I? yes the dudhsaaagar falls The view from of the falls was breathtaking. The falls looked amazing ......
passing over, up, around, and through several significant ravine / waterfall drainages, and attaining magnificent views from scary prominences,soon i was at the spraying plunge pool of Dudhsaagar Falls - a perspective not many get due to the semi-technical nature of the short but risky scramble.We had a real funk time spashing water over each other and making sure that each one of us gets fully
drenched .......
When you’re returning on your left are magnificient mountains, deep in a forested canyon, euphonious bird song and rippling water livening the pulse of the day, and sun beating down while the rest of the area is drenched in kind of mist, with nothing on your agenda but this! -- you know you’re somewhere different and special.You think - how perfectly lovely! You want to roll out sheet and open up the picnic basket and just lay there contemplating sweet divine nothingness in mindless bliss.
Time to say bye to the falls , while returning back to walk on the tracks we saw monkeys (some quite small, one seemed to be about the size of a fist) it reminded me of you ,really :PPPPP.


This is the time when your body begins to complain lightly, lead by the legs that are beginning to feel overworked. Add trouble with your back if you are carrying a bag which some of us were carrying ....Now we had to take a lift from someone guess!!
a goods train ,i know difficult for you naa but yeps u gotto ask for the lift from train and after plenty of requests we got it !!!!!!we were to stand on the open side an experience of lifetime must say.
colorful, dense, textured rocks ajumbled in the sensuous stream bed; the flawless forest of venerable, gnarly blue and coconut along with certain other trees gleaming like cyclopean creatures opening up to the sun. We passed through one of the most beautiful routes .


This was the journey till Colem from where u take the bus or train to vasco ....
You carry the pain and tiredness even after you get into your bus, and reach the city. The pain vanishes in a few days, but the memory will stay forever
Dudhsaagar trip really-really offers bountiful promise of unbridled adventure .

Irritatin jobs !!!!

Its frustrating actually VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV frustrating to try to understand code written by others. I know this the best , had to struggle a lot in past few days wid it, was bizee redesigning .And believe me designing is much much easier than to redesign .Everyline u proceed with , and the smallest thing say something with the braces and you can see hundreds of errors popping up .Oh i used to be so scared (after editting ) of having a look at screen as i pressed run .....100's of errors
however , soon my immunity power satarted increasing :D .whatever editting is heck .
More so when people don't care about proper indentation and commenting. Can't really do anything about unwritten comments, but I can give you two tips to indent the code written by someone else in C my field till yet ,can't tell ya much about web designing scripting myself struggling it wid it yet but gen :


Learn to use the command 'indent' (*nix only) if its a C code. Do 'man indent' and find out the options that fit the best to your taste. They have some excellent examples in the man page.
If the code is in some other language, try this method. Open up the file in vi (or gvim). Press 'gg' (to go to the beginning of the file), then press 'v' (for visual) and then press 'Shift-g' (or 'G', to go to the end of the file). This will select everything in the file. Now comes the magic :) ... while everything is selected, press '=' and - voila! - your code is properly indented :). Of course, instead of selecting the whole document, you can select parts of it using some combination of 'v' and other keys and indent only that part.

And yes, you can be lazy too, and not indent while writing the code.. since you can always indent it later using these methods, but I wouldn't recommend it. That would be sacrilege.

Why am I me ???

is life just nohting than
play till the age of 5,
serious -studies till 18 :P ,
love at teenage,
job at 22's,
marriage at 25's,
struggle for money and fame(more and more) till 60's,
bother abt our kids till 80's
then death .....
then again the same cycle of birth and death...?

At this age probably philosophy starts to haunt you alot. Yeah had a conversation wid a bunch of my frns of recent , everybody nveloped by same sphere of questions.I wonder how Sophie (of Sophie's World) could handle so many questions at such a premature age!

So, what are the questions all of us are looking to ask and answer? In particular, what are your own questions? Many times we dont have questions but instead tasks that we want to finish, but dont know how to........ so what are those tasks? What are the things you think about alot?


My list for now is rather short:

1. Who and what am I? Why do I want to know this? and how can I?

2. What to do after I know myself? Change myself for better? Or not?

3. Are there any fundamental principles to live by?

I should (and probably would) spend one post on each of these questions and explain what I mean by them. Then probably you can help me from your experiences.

This, by the way, reminds me of another mini question:
Should I experience everything myself or learn from my peers' and my seniors' experiences to my benefit?
Ahh how I love my curious mind! :P
experiences ummmmmmmm
Inexperience is the mamma of creativity. If you do not have experience you try out stuff differently from whats tried, tested, and rejected.
It's this innocence of ignorance that spins new formulae from old hats.Someone i recently had discussion wid told me

"Re-examine all you have been told.
Discard what insults your soul"

I guess everyone learns different things out of an experience, so it's important to KNOW what it means to you...It may not satisfy u always either, so do keep probin- g further, and if necessary, plunge urself...

Just an opinion though:)
PS: Tell me about your 'questions' in the comments for now and any possible answers for the mini-questions

puzzled nesh 4 u :O

A smile an everlasting smile ???????????

something special about these pics .....ummm may be simplicity
may be the smiles
may be the innocence
may be the thoughts of everyday life for a few
may be the plight of people
what comes to ur mind when ya go throgh these pics ?





pics from zari near bits pilani goa campus , the street i had to cross everyday ...
Special thanx to the person who captured the pics for me n had my wishes done :)
njoy
nesh 4 u

DND .....dare not disturb!

away , not @ my desk , do not disturb n for me dare not disturb ............
seems to b one of the most common IM status messages ......
Attention is our most valuable commodity, what we are attending to at the moment is what gets done. There are all manner and means of distracting me from what I am doing in the hopes of getting me to do what you need or want me to do.Interruptions ,they do leave you frustrated when you dont want to be disturbed .. your status message clearly reads" away" or " please do not disturb"
I donno y ppl jus dont seem to understand this statement , i always thought "dont disturb " to be 2 simple english words meaning " keep off " but i guess something wrong wid the notion i carry till date .....whenever i have the status message sayin do not disturb n mind it i have this status message when i really m bizee or disturbed
i think ppl read it as please do do disturb , everybody will buzzz , some messages go like this
.......k so m i Disturbin u too :P
.......disturbed u hehe
........sorry to disturb u
........ohho dnd busy wid what
........talkin to whom ;)
........i dare disturb
(what fun is it disturbin a person when his or her status message reads dnd... i never get , i mean if some1 dont want to get disturbed cant he be left undisturbed , if u have smthyn which can b put on a hold jus mail him/her y disturb when her/his msg readz clearly dnd )

........ mr xyz :hey plz respond its very imp
me :yeah say
mr xyz : btw am i disturbing
me :no not much , say
mr xyz :whenever u r busy u shud not sign in gtalk.......:P
i jus wanted to say this , continue wrkin :) or if u want u can talk i don't mind ;)
me : bye n thnx 4 the advise
also thr r messages like

:hey listen the presentation is postponed
or plz dont forget to bring my buk kinds...........
or plz take this file and transfer me later ..
or can u gimme miss ...'s no its really urgent



Now as per mr xyz ...yeah rite but at tyms u have to b on an IM for u r discussin smthyn imp wid sm1 or mebbe need to give a regular feedback abt the progress of wrk ........ well its not about whether the user is physically capable of communication, but rather whether they are willing to interrupt their current work flow to participate. Combined with physical presence, a measure of a user’s willingness to be interrupted indicates their availability
So, while the cost equation may be in question, the trend is unmistakable: there will be more means of interruption in the future, not fewer.


One interruption may be senseless, while the next conveys critical information. Who is capable of making the determination?

Well, the recipient should definately be able to determine whether the interruption was worthwhile or not. Unfortunately it is too late once the message has been received. The presence model is supposed to portray enough information for the sender to make a deterimination regarding the urgency of their message content. Herein we find another problem.

Senders, determining whether or not to interrupt, are inherently selfish. Their need to convey or obtain information to/from the recipient often overwhelms the recipients perception of their own availability.

How have users like you n me to overcome these interruptions? Well, I would contend that we usurpt the presence system and introduce a level of “plausible deniability”. We either leave the system set to “online” continuously, change our status to “away” while we are busy to remove any expectation of a reply, as when we use “do not disturb” it maintains some level of ambiguity. Does this cheating of the system undermine the trust?

Ultimately, though, the interruptions which come in the form of IMs can easily be prioritized by the recipient and responded to in an appropriate manner. Your presence should have enough hints in it to cue the people who want might want to interrupt. you can always gp aboutt BLOCKING ppl the last resort .....
My concern is when the presence systems begin to infiltrate other technologies and interruptions begin to occur on a more physical level (such as a telephone call or drop-in visitor to the room ). What will we do then?
ne answers ????????????????????????????????????????????????

Walkin through ......

WALKIN THROUGH .........
I stopped and thought for a moment, as I was just enjoying the sounds and smells of a lovely early morning out of my window , the rain drops on the leaves on tree branches,"This is bliss. There is no where I would rather be right now, no one I'd rather be with than myself, nothing I would rather be doing than working on this project." I was filled to the brim with joy.
The lovely rains when I used to go out for my early morning walk LOL . walkin d same route seeing the same things but still noticing something different about them each day as I strolled through . I wish I had brought my camera (isn't that always the way?). Walkin adjacent to the tree line on a highway , how perfect ) It used to feel so mystical at times and I swear when I used to breath in the cool bits of air I felt so charged somehow...
This road so tempted me to go for a bike ride , i have always loved drivin early mornin n here i had pleasure of having drizzle + cool breeze +awesum road woowwwwwww
I have always cherished all the times of walking down the road singing random songs together( though sounds a lil crazy naa ) , which is always a lot of fun so much more fun it wud have been on a highway early mornin, i so missed my sweet sweeter n sweetest frn circle ,when forget singin i had to walk without even uttering a word (n for me a gal who ppl hardly find wid her mouth shut jus imagine ... how difficult it wud have been :P)
There were ppl around ,some ppl used to b engrossed in thr personal discussions , some were quiet , some2 had always to go on a horsewalk :P , @ times some tried keepin pace wid me n my tortoise walk atleast i think thatway that they tried so tat i dont feel left out or mebbe they themselves were not able to keep wid tat horsewalk :P,but whatever it was it used to b nice tryin to keep up wid the speed :P ..hmmm yeah thr used to b moments once in a blue moon when we did cared to share jokes n ( which added colors to the monotonous walk) , had arguements too :D ohh how much i luv falling in arguements u know ;) , discussin some of the most unimportant things :P n i have to keep a hold on my philosophies for thr used to b a voice now u dont start up wid ur philosophies plz lolzz .....Well not to forget all ppl were very chivalrous in this grp i had to walk wid which i really appreciated, for thr were occasions i neva expected a paticular kinda behaviour from these ppl but came as a surprize :)
enuff of praises n complaints abt the grp!!!
a law of life :u can never have all your fantasies full-filled so some wishes unfulfilled on highway wud again add to my list of desires unfulfilled list ..neva mind
Having the scorchin sun stream in from the outside, n walkin miles seeing the fast flowin traffic fled away , walkin through the filth scattered round the street which we had to n had to cross - pathetic life , everythin seemin so wretched so grey n gloomy ,3-4 menial bars leavin u totally pizzed n frustrated , i donno frustration abt y u had to cross through tat street or abt the ppl who came in picture or about jus the idea tat "life is not a cakewalk "....donno ...... i really shed tears believe me or not on the thought tat i have to walk this road for 50 days, every second person i used to talk to i found myself cribbin about the harsh journey ......these were some of my first experiences of tat road but later i donno but things moulded altogether to assume a new shape


It used to b quite awesome to walk in a climate controlled environment it used to b so pleasant njoyin the lovely rains n walkin down , feelin of walking above traffic [:P], having no sun stream in from the outside [:D] , n about the street i started discoverin smilin faces bearin innocence yeah lots of kids used to b thr n u know kids can bring a smile to ne1's face ,the temple used to catch my attention n not the bars , the content life n not a life widout all luxuries used to sorround my thoughts when i had a luk at ppl seemin satisfied n kinda happy [:)]

i wud share one moment when in evenin as I walked hostel from the bus stop a couple of distance away from the campus, a persistent drizzle began to follow me. The drops fell hard. They felt like icy little pellets on the skin. . Instead of comfort, it brought me distress i donno y .I quickened my pace, though the prospect of getting drenched again did not bother me that much.As I rounded the corner into my campus, things looked brighter! And it caught me by surprise. The dark clouds that covered the lowered half earlier were not present above the hostels in my campus. There were beautiful, fluffy clouds moving fast away from me. The effect was dizzying.
I stopped for a moment and turned around. Yups, the dark cloud still loomed behind me and the tiny watery beads kept falling just feet away.I could almost hear my great grandmother, “They say that if it rains when the sun is out that a witch is getting married…”

I m so goin to mich all these experiences i had as i walked the road the lonely road :(

Even though I don't know where I'm going on this journey that is my life, I feel so, so grateful that I've added more passion into my life. There is still so much I want to do! So much I want to learn creatively, so many things I want to try, but I just feel so grateful and sure that I'm heading in the right direction. Not knowing where I will end up is unnerving...sometimes it's downright scary. But knowing that I'm going somewhere, that makes all the difference to me.

Mirror that is :P

Relationships provide us with a mirror through which we can learn about ourselves. The concept, as I interpret it, is that people that we interact with mirror back what they are getting from us energetically. If we take the time to notice their behavior, we can learn something about ourselves. This isn't always easy to do. First of all we have to accept the premise as valid. Then we have to take a moment to step back from a situation and examine it objectively. Once we have identified what it is we'd like to change and we are willing to accept that we have some control over our own behavior and therefore the situation, we can use this knowledge to influence the outcome.
Well often you look for themes in your relationships or in your behavior. When other people's negativity is getting on my nerves, I realize that I'm generally in a negative mode. When I'm feeling that others are trying to assume authority over me, it's brings me clarity about my own need to control others--if I'm paying attention, THAT IS . None of this works if you don't take the time to "see" what's happening.



dedicated to mr that is :P

N for narration !!!

Narrative is a funny thing. Especially first-person narrative. On the one hand, we can never really trust the first-person narrator to give us the whole story. He or she never reveals everything - there are, necessarily, blind spots. Things the narrator chooses not to mention, things the narrator doesn't see because of his/her subject-position. But the only way that first-person narration can really work is if we "trust" the narrator in spite of our best instincts. I mean, sure, the narrator might be crazy or clearly presenting facts in such a way that he/she is someone with whom we have sympathy. If we really don't "trust" the narrator, at least on some level, it's really difficult to get it up to continue reading. Even if we believe that the narrator is unreliable, we've got to be on board with that unreliability, to see it as something worth thinking about.

Now, in the conventional realist novel with first-person narration, we get one viewpoint, and any resisting reading that we perform means that we interrogate that one perspective that we have in front of us, a perspective that by its very design inspires identification on the part of the reader. But after realism, first-person narration goes a bit wacky. What we get instead, most often, is a collection of first-person perspectives out of which we as readers must then attempt to make some kind of sense. In performing that operation, we arrive at a version of something that we might call "the truth." But, of course, that "truth" is also subjective, right? We, in our reading, ultimately "write" a version of "truth" that depends not only on the subjective narratives that we evaluate but on our own subjective experiences. So if you give a group of people a collection of narratives to evaluate, each person will likely come up with a different "truth."

Of course, depending on the choices of the author, and the number of narratives with which the author provides readers, the author can to some extent attempt to control reader response, but such attempts at control can never be perfect. No author can anticipate every possible interpretation, try as any author might. Something is always going to slip through the cracks


And then there's the self-presentation issue, and blogging is part of that. I'm the "author" of this blog. One might regard each post as its own distinct text. As you read each post, you come up with a composite "truth" . Is it possible to get to the "truth" of a person in discourse, to come up with a whole truth? Probably not, right? And then the other side of that coin becomes this: is it ever possible to be honest - to tell the truth? One can try, sure, but ultimately any such thing is contingent upon a variety of factors, right? But so then one can make an effort to be consistent across texts, but in spite of my best efforts, I think I'm not. . And so then I wonder whether narrative consistency - in any context - is possible, or even if possible, if it's desirable. I mean, I think that I've always assumed that it is desirable - necessary even - but it's something that I can't seem to maintain. So if I can't maintain it, then is it desirable or necessary? To what extent is consistency in narrative false?

iT starts wid N........

Recently sm1 asked the letter i like the most ,well things in my life start with letter N .......i usually like letters with sharp curvature n so N fits in for me ...K n Y r nice too :P
Then i was asked to say 5 wrds which cross my mind startin with the b'ful letter N .......n i came up wid
Name : What's in a name?" Shakespeare's Juliet famously asked. Apparently not much, for she said, "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
Nothing : A word I seem to be using more and more these days .....nothing " kuch bhi toh nahin " :P
Night : probably the best time to reflect upon , i luv the introspection sessions
n of course the star studded sky !!!
N ostalgia :Little droplets of memories quiver tremblingly over the trees that arch their branches ....... You don't see the trees but you feel the calmness of lives that have gone into emotional remission.

Most memorable things n thoughts delineates the innermost recesses of nostalgia in a language that's related more to poetry than prose.
n the final word
Numbers :
I love all the numbers. They carry their own individual vibrations.Well the number word came to my mind coz jus finished abt readin number 23
Shakespeare was born on April 23.
Shakespeare died on April 23.
Two 23's equals 46 and, that's how old Shakespeare was when the KJV was published
The first prime number wherein both of the digits are prime and add up to another prime number is 23.
The first Morse code transmission is reported to have been “What hath god wrought?”. A Biblical quote from Numbers 23:23.
n my birthdate :P




finally i was asked to name 5 ppl with name N
umm
neha :a nice n lovely name :P
nataasha : i donno but i have always wanted to meet sm1 named nataasha , hope to meet sm1 named nataasha in near future !
neelaaksh :soundz so traditional naa , nice name
nissy : jus finished watchin a movie n so this name thr in my inbox :P
namrata : well the gal found place in my conversation jus an hour b4 i was questiones
btw i also like the names
nishit
nishant
nishi
nachiket
nimisha
nishcay
nimish
:)
N finally i was asked to fill up one blank
N for
no doubt ans was
N for neha :)
4 u