Kind of funny :P

When Indians speak English, it isn't usually the way the Americans do! So we all know about the Malayali who `zimbly' crossed the road n entered our `koledj ." . And, then, the snobbish Punjabi guy's story who told why and how he got his passport 'wallidated' and the 'waccination for malaria' - he went on ' wacation owersea' can't let go the trip without boasting :P And, yes, the Bengali who lost all data on his computer because he didn't `shave' them...

English, is a funny language. We can all "talk English, walk English, laugh English," as Big B (Amitabh Bhachan) said in some movie, but, let's face it, the English we speak is not always King's (or Queen's) English. English language, along with Hindi, is probably what bridges several diverse Indian communities as the most convenient means of communication among us. But English attains a comical effect when used by most of us who belong to different "regional ethnic" groups within the Indian community. Hampered by strong mother-tongue "interference," we struggle with alphabets that either twist our tongue or slip across it, thus screwing up the pronunciations some times.

We all know that certain communities are not quite comfortable with certain alphabets. Maharashtrians seem to have a problem with the alphabet F, while they also share an almost equal aversion to anything sounding `sh' with the Gujaratis ("the robber 'sot' him in the head). So there's this Mahrashtrian, Mr karnetkar say (or whatever other 'kar) who is totally `conphujed' while philling out his health club membership `pharm,'

Some have a fixation with a particular alphabet. Like the Malayali who likes to emphasize the `r' and complains about the poor `waterr' supply in his bathrroom . Poor guy, he doesn't get enough to bathe with his phavorite `Lex' soap. Also did I tell u that, he had high aspirations to go for 'Yum E' (ME) in literature! but destiny ....landed him here in Bits pilani with msc ...By the way, Y is a favorite alphabet, whose popularity cuts across all South Indian communities, especially since they aren't very fond of alphabets M and E. So don't be surprised if you encountered anybody from South India who's seen a strange movie called Yenter The Dragon :P

But when it comes to who's the boss, the Tamilian swears by his `bass,' while the Malayali sticks to his `bose.' The Tamilian, you see, loves the sound of a `ya' or `aa' at the end of a sentence. "Ready-aa?" he asks (he really is not trying to say Radia, believe me!). All he is asking is "Are you ready?" On the other hand, the Malayali may prefer to ask things in a negative tone - "It's very hot, no?" But the Gujarati from Ahmedabad loves to put an 'e' at the end of words, especially if there is an 'A' somewhere in the middle of that word. So he may shock you some times when you call him around 12 jus happened to be his wingies bday and ask him what he is upto and he says, "I am raping the gifts." And then forgot to tell ya abt this Gujarati woman telling my mum, "Maro dikro states ma udi gayo." It took mum a while to realise that her son has not flown to the US, but has simply failed his stats (or statistics) test at school...

And, please, don't get mad at me. My objective of "littering" around so many examples about the usage of English by different Indian regional ethnic groups is not to make fun of them. It is just to show how Ingliss, while an integral part of our daily life , has been moulded ('mauled' might be more appropriate) to suit cultural convenience and basic communication requirements of our diverse population. How we all - whether Rajasthanis, Biharis, Kanadas or Goans or whatever - talk in the Queen's language is often a source of entertainment.


Well, told u before no offences meant. Now, go on, Gujju aunty order a 'pijja' from Pijja Hutt and take a bite of your 'pijja' while telling your son not to listen to the `pope' music at all times.
Me goin 4 dAAta structures wid pope mujjik too
tatas